What family means, why I'm down and what makes me feel sad.

Just need another 8 hours os sleep that's all.  Passing out on the couch only to be awoken by yelling really sucks. I can't find peace not even in my room it doesn't matter where I sleep I wake up to yelling cause grandma doesn't listen to anyone anymore no matter how nice we talk or what we say she doesn't listen and fights with us. My mom isn't gonna be alive much longer if nobody helps her and then I'm going to have no mother cause my father is gone and now grandma is killing my mother. Nobody takes care of her like my mom does. It's so sad grandma lived with my mom and dad thier whole lives now my mother who is 100% handicapped has to take care of her, life sucks and I feel bad for my mom I can only help out so much.  We have sacrificed our lives to help grandma out and I guess no one cares the way we do. I hope that my mother gets to see one day of peace and doesn't have the stress she is dealing with now. The sad part is my grandmother had 4 children and since my father passed away and my mother is a widow it must be ok for her brothers and sister to just sit back and live thier lives while my mother dies. I'm not upset or mad cause we are family but family should always support and be there for each other cause in the end what else do we have? It's just not fair to live with grandma 24/7 and have her make my mother suffer I have no idea what mom would do without me to help her carry grandma up and down stairs and I have sacrificed so much of my time out of love for my mother and grandmother. My sister helps out when she can and now that Billy is gone I'm left to watch her when mom needs to go out because it takes grandma about 1 hour to 90 minutes just to get her ready to go food shopping for 30 minutes. I do not spend time with my mom or have a normal relationship with grandma cause she always thinks I'm sombody else. If anyone answers me with why don't you just put her in a home I would say how would you like to be put in a home where no one knows you and you get abused. Those homes are very sad and depressing and for the most part I made a promise to grandma when she still knew who I was, I told her as long as I'm alive you will not  be in a home. I understand grandma is old an has lived her life to the fullest but, I'm not her only grandchild and my mother isn't her only child what happen family? Where is the love now? Why haven't we become closer? It's sad that I have to vent this way if I pissed you off or offended you then, I'm sorry but I'm not guilty of anything I can die knowing I helped and did everything I could in my power to help out. I just feel bad that my mother suffers day in and day out. She doesn't have a life and can't even enjoy a day out with her granddaughter that's sad. I just hope that when or if I ever have children they take care of me like that. Oh and if you are family that does help us thank you and if your family that pretends nothing is wrong shame on you. I know that if grandma was a rich old woman things would have been diffrent, everyone would be probably be fighting to help out. But since she isn't we are fighting just to live and everyday is a struggle and uphill battle for the people in my house. We lost it all and we are still greatful for everything. I guess this what you call venting I have been through so much and I'm not asking for anything in return. I just wonder what happen to our family and why we fell apart? I do not question God cause it's all God's plan, I didn't have to go to church to find out what compassion was and what family means, I didn't have to go to church to love my  God or understand what our purpose in life was and is. To all who wasted thier time asking for forgivness you can stop cause your action speak louder then words. Judgement will come and I will be fine along with everyone who help us through these hard times. I pray that none of you ever have to walk in my shoes or live through the nightmares I've faced. Until then you will never grasp the reality or know the true meaning or lonelyness and depression. I wish I had lots of money cause then I would have been able to help mom out with grandma and make her life easier, my mother should be sainted for her deeds she is my saint. I love you mom and I am here for you no matter what, you know you never have to ask I'm always here to help you. I will do my best to help you in anyway I can. I know it's hard taking care of grandma alone and not having dad to talk to and I know I can't take dads place in the talks you use to have all I can do is help take care of grandma and listen to you when you need to talk. That's what family does and that's why I'm here. I haven't left you because I need you the same way you need me support. Love always your son.